The U.N.I.T. Files


2005 saw UNIT tackle only one major incident, the Shop Dummy Attacks in March.

The Plastic Death Dolls

On evening of the 6th of March 2005, UNIT were involved in the clear-up operation following an unusual incident which had parallels to Black Thursday back in 1969. The key connecting factor between the two incidents was reports that people were attacked by mannequins. This time, the reports said that shop dummies in London had come to life and started attacking people, having some kind of concealed guns in their hands. Rumours that a David Beckham waxwork at Madam Tussaud's attacked people were officially denied. One of the more bizarre reports came from visitors to a restaurant in Kennington in South London. These reports claim that a visitor to the restaurant morphed his hand into a large block of plastic and started smashing up the restaurant.

The attacks coincided with a spectacle on the London Eye, which appeared to be covered in some kind of electrical energy and with a few reports of disembodied voices saying things like "What do I do now?", "Where are we going?", and "Is this live?".

The incident was given very little press coverage, despite a number of reported deaths (though it should be remembered that no deaths were ever confirmed as a result of these events, casualties could theoretically have just gone missing instead). Links between the attacks, the spectacle at the London eye (which made the tabloid headlines), and the voices are purely hypothetical, they occurred at the same time, but otherwise there is no reason to link them. There is also no evidence to support rumours that the explosion at Henrik's department store the previous day (which was officially said to have been caused by a gas leak) was connected to the attacks.

One group of scientists is reported to have said that 'The incident was caused by a batch of faulty plastic used in the manufacture of display dummies, combined with a gas main explosion. During manufacture, it seems that bubbles formed within the dummies. When exposed to high temperatures during and after the explosion, expansion of air within them caused them to distort and twist in a way that already panicked observers interpreted as movement.', which was published in both The Times and The Independent. However, this explanation does not explain the deaths that many reported seeing, or the missing status of many of those known to have been in the affected areas at the time.

UNIT are known to have been heavily involved in the clean-up after the chaos. Their website contains the statement that 'UNIT cannot comment further on allegations that these combatants were either disguised members of a terrorist coalition, or specially modified robots under remote-control by an unconventional aggressor.' Either possibility seems a plausible explanation for events, except for the fact that the dummies involved in the attacks are reported to have collapsed and melted mere minutes after the attacks began. As is often the case with events involving UNIT, the conclusion must be that we do not really know what happened.

The Southam E-Bola Scare

In the middle of 2005, there was an E-Bola scare at Southam Hospital in London. There was only one ebola patient in the hospital, who had been brought there following an incident at a Bromley nightclub. The man had been wearing a caveman fancy dress costume, and eyewitnesses to the incident thought that he was probably a tramp. He disappeared from the hospital mere hours after being admitted, and UNIT are known to have questioned hospital staff following his disappearance.

It is unclear exactly what UNIT's involvement in the case was, but it seems unlikely that it was anything as straightforward as a viral infection. Perhaps the man was suffering from some rather more exotic disease, or perhaps he really was a latter-day cave-man. Either way, he was certainly unusual enough to attract UNIT's attention.

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